Don't Judge Me, I'm Insane!
by Katriana Freelander
Summary: Seriously, don't judge me. I'm insane. Random fic that will be updated frequently. It's gonna be my, time-filler for when i can't think. Which will be often! Random fic off the top of my head! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: DO NOT READ. YOU WILL END UP IN THE INSANE ASYLUM.**

* * *

><p>Sam Carter: Oh, hello! I don't know what I'm doing here. Brianna, do you need help writing again?<p>

Me: *sheepish* Maybe.

Sam Carter: *sigh* What with now?

Jack O'Neall: Captain?

Sam Carter: *wide eyes* Uh, yes sir?

Jack O'Neall: What are you doing here?

Helen Magnus: What am **I** doing here! I was stuck in the 1800's with Adam, and poof, I'm here!

Jack O'Neall: *rubs eyes* I'm seeing double!

Helen Magnus: *irritated* Listen, do you have a time machine?

Jack O'Neall: Uh…

Me: *eats popcorn* This is better than watching Jen and Jake argue with Bree. *reclines*

Nikola Tesla: What the heck?

Me: *face palm* Oh no… Chaos ensues… *poof, gone*

Sam Carter: Where'd Brianna go?

Helen Magnus: I don't know!

Kate Freelander: Uhm, Magnus? Thought you were in the 1800's.

Helen Magnus: *grumbles* Me too.

Jack O'Neall: *sings Stargate* Stargaaaate!

Big Guy: *smacks him*

Jack O'Neall: *blackout on the floor*

Sam Carter: *glances at him* That'll keep him shut up for a while.

Helen Magnus: Yep.

Me: *reappears nervously* Is my over-active imagination going into hibernation yet?

Will Zimmerman: *looks at me* Does it look like it?

Me: *sniggers* Jen should be here, she loves you.

*Jennifer appears* Will! *passes out*

Me: *glances at Jennifer* Whelp, she's out. *nudges with foot*

Sarah: Uh, Bri, what is everyone doing here?

Me: My imagination is going crazy.

Sarah: Crazier, you mean.

Me: You know me so well. *smiles dreamily*

John Druitt: *appears holds up bloody knife* Does anyone want to tell me what I'm doing here?

Nikola Tesla: *silence*

Jack O'Neall: *silence*

Sam Carter: *silence*

Kate Freelander: *silence*

Helen Magnus: *silence*

Will Zimmerman: *silence*

Sarah: *silence*

Me: *silence*

Amanda Tapping: *silence*

Adam Worth: *silence*

Big Bertha: *silence*

Jennifer: *silence*

Matthew: *silence*

Random book characters: *silence*

World: *silence*

Universe: *silence*

Jean-Luc Picard: *silence*

Beverly: *silence*

Aliens: *silence*

Big Guy: *silence*

Henry Foss: silence*

Ashley Magnus: *silence*

John Druitt: *gives everyone a once over* Ashley!

Ashley Magnus: *grabs Nubbin* No, Dad, stay back! *holds out Nubbin*

Henry Foss: *runs* Ahhhh! *yells at Nubbin* Your mother was a sewer rat!

Ashley Magnus: Hey! Watch it! *runs after him*

Me: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Say good-bye!

Everyone: Bye readers! Read and review, or we'll send John out!

John Druitt: I'll come anyway.

Helen Magnus: *smacks him*

John Druitt: Ouch. *rubs head*

Me: GOOD BYE.

Everyone else: Wait! Don't clo-

Me: *turns out light and closes door*

* * *

><p><strong>... I hope you didn't end up as crazy as me. You'd best be glad you weren't the one writing this while John was poking you with a dagger. *rubs neck* Ouch.<strong>

**I'm sure this should be a cross-over, because of Jack and Sam, but I don't care. Flame me! All you want! And, to the readers of my other fic: I will update! Sometime! IF my friend, Helen here, *pats her on the shoulder* will make an account. *wicked grin* You know you want to! And now you have to if you want me to update! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**IF YOU'VE READ THE FIRST CHAPTER, DON'T READ THIS ONE!**

_Yeah, I should probably disclaim…_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, I just make them do stuff. That goes for the other chapter too.**_

Me: Hello my ever lovely readers. *wicked grin* Today, I will be-

Helen Magnus: AGAIN? I'M HERE _AGAIN?_

_Me: … Apparently… I was hoping to do a fairly normal chapter…_

_Random person: Who am I?_

_Me: I don't know… Go away… Creep._

_*random person disappears*_

_Will Zimmerman: So… Is Jennifer here? *smiles*_

_Me: *smiles innocently* Yes…_

_Jennifer: *smiles at Will* Hi! *giggle*_

_Will Zimmerman: Hey! *disappears with Jennifer*_

_Me: *grumble* Darn. I can't tease them now…_

_*Ashley and Henry appear, Ashley is still chasing after Henry* Ashley Magnus: NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN!_

_Henry Foss: I WON'T, PLEASE STOP YELLING AND CHASING ME! *falls into pit in the earth*_

_Ashley Magnus: *screams and falls in after him*_

_Me: *looks into hole and drops pebble*_

_Henry: OW! WHO THREW A PEBBLE AT ME? ASHLEY!_

_*sounds of fighting*_

_Me: *whistles and pushes huge rock over hole. Sounds cease* Ah, beautiful silence…_

_*Nikola appears*_

_Me: *sigh* God help us…_

_Nikola Tesla: *glances around* Helen…?_

_Helen Magnus: Hi Nikola._

_Nikola Tesla: *grins and disappears with Helen*_

_Me: O.O I don't want to know._

_Sarah: Again? Bri, write some more on the other fanfic!_

_Me: *looks at her* Did you make an account yet?_

_*Adam appears* Okay people, I need Helen. *glares* Without her, we can't make the next episode!_

_World: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

_Me: She went with Nikola, track him down!_

_Adam Worth: It's your story, make her appear!_

_Me: … Smart man… You and Napoleon would get along…_

_Adam Worth: Thank you._

_*Helen and Nikola appear* Helen Magnus: Oh, uh, I gotta go Nikola, bye! *disappears with Adam*_

_Nikola Tesla: CHEATER! *pouts*_

_Sam Carter: DANG. I thought I was gonna be forgotten…_

_Me: Nope._

_Jack O'Neall: -.- *grumbles*_

_Me: *laughs manically*_

_Richard Dean Anderson: Uh…_

_MacGyver: WTHECK?_

_*Richard, MacGyver and Jack look at each other*_

_Jack O'Neall: *grabs gun*_

_MacGyver: *makes nuclear reactor, not knowing what to do*_

_Richard Dean Anderson: I have twins?_

_*everyone suddenly looks at me*_

_Me: Uhhhh…. Help?_

_*everyone attacks me*_

_Me: Bye readers! SEND NINJAS PLEASE!_

_Everyone else: *knocks me unconscious*_

_Sam Carter and Helen Magnus: So, I guess we'll be seeing you next time. Yes, we're sure this was a crappy chapter, but review!_

_John Druitt: …Or I will get you…_


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Hello dearest readers. I'll go ahead and disclaim everything. I DISCLAIM ANY OF THE CHARACTERS-

Nikola Tesla: Ahem.

Me: … Or him. -_- -MENTIONED HERE EXCEPT THE CHARACTERS I MIGHT RANDOMLY MAKE UP. Good? Good. Let's continue.

Nikola Tesla: Please, lets. You talk too much.

Me: … I can easily kill you in here…

Nikola Tesla: Like you would.

Me: *sigh* You got me there.

Helen Magnus: … Please, stop making me talk in this. I have better things to be doing.

Samantha Carter: Same here.

Me: Sam, your not even in a show anymore…

Samantha Carter: … And? I still do things!

Me: *sniggering* With Jack…

Samantha Carter: *I-will-set-you-ablaze glare*

Jack O'Neill: That's Colonial O'Neill to you, Brianna.

Me: My fanfic, my rules, so shove off.

Jack O'Neill: *raises eyebrow* We still have personalities. And we have stuff on you that you don't want all over the web.

Helen Magnus: *stifles laugh*

Nikola Tesla: HELEN YOU'RE ALIVE! *kisses*

Me: Get a room.

Nikola Tesla: Gladly

Helen Magnus: No.

Me: :biggrin:

Henry Foss: *echoes from pit* Hey! Let me outta here! Ashley's driving me crazy! OW!

Me: *sigh* I guess. I have a newfound fan girl crush on you right now anyway. *Henry magically gets out of the pit. Ashley's still in the pit*

Ashley Magnus: BRIANNA WHITE GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

Me: … Fine… All you had to do was ask… *magically appears out of pit, then disappears again*

Ashley Magnus: FOR MORE THAN 2 SECONDS.

Me: *stifling giggles* Ok, ok, calm down.

Ashley Magnus: *appears out of pit, bound and gagged*

Me: Don't try and kill Henry. Or kill him. Ok?

Ashley Magnus: *glares but nods* *untied, unbound*

Me: Happy? Good.

Daniel Jackson: You finally put me in here! :D

Me: Yes, yes, finally.

Daniel Jackson: *starts talking about something only Jack and Sam would understand*

Me: …

John Druitt: Shut up or suffer the wrath of Jack the Ripper.

Daniel Jackson: *silence*

John Druitt: Good.

Me: STARGAAATE! IT'S A GREAT BIG WORLD! WITH A GREAT BIG SWIRL YOU CAN STEP INSIDE TO ANOTHER WORLD! WE'RE TALKING STARGATE! IT'S A CRAZY TRIP! YOU CAN GO QUITE FAR AND YOU DON'T NEED A CAR OR EVEN A SHIP! THERE'S COLONIAL O'NEILL AND CARTER AND DANIEL AND TEAL'C! LOOK OUT FOR THAT G-G-G-G-G-G-G-GOUL'D!

Everyone: *looking at me like I've gone insane-er*

Me: *sheepish smile* I didn't know what else to do.

William Zimmerman: Yeahhh… Ok…

Abby Corigan: Will… You do realize you have to go back to work, don't you…?

William Zimmerman: For the last time, I QUIT SCUI. -_-

Jennifer: *looks at Abby with jealousy*

Me: *Cheshire cat grin* Anyway, I'm brain dead again, and I gotta go! R&R etc. You know the drill. Bye!

John Druitt: Or else.

Me: JOHN SHUT UP OR I WON'T LET YOU TALK ANYMORE.

John Druitt: Fine with me.

Me:... I'll make you talk every other line...

John: *silence*

Me: Good...


End file.
